My new boat

My friend Lisa Larson Kelley sent me a link to a wonderful blog post by Danielle LaPorte.
In it, Danielle LaPorte describes this wonderful little story that inspired her post today:

"…a mythic band of magic-loving Irish folk. Feeling the call for newness, they would forge out to settle on a new island. Necessarily, they would make the journey by ship. When they arrived to their next land they would unpack — and then promptly burn their boats.

No desire to go back. Focused forward. New journey, new way of getting there, new results."

I immediately admired the bold confidence. But, truth is, I didn't get it completely. I read on…OOOH, I'm the boat. I got myself here doing what I'm used to, what I'm good at and it's comforting to continue on that way. But, does that also hold you back from a bright future that requires you to be more daring? To endure the discomfort of friction when you grow? To push through the ceiling that's hitting your head and putting pain in your neck?

At the end, there is an invitation to share "what boat do you need to burn?"

Funny, I was just sharing recently that my fear has gotten me far in life. I've doubted myself, so I've worked hard. There are many tools, like that, I've picked along the way that have gotten me where I wanted to go. 

But, about 2 years ago, it was like I'd forgotten how to paddle that boat any longer. I looked around and everything just looked strange and off to me. Was I the ONLY one who could see this wasn't right? That it wasn't working? 

In retrospect, the day that I looked around the streets in NYC and called my husband, I was lighting the match and burning that boat without realizing it. You can read more about this moment here: "5 people want to know"

It took me another year to fully grasp that, and get used to it. I wavered, waffled, went in and out of degrees of comfort, anxiety, excitement and depression over DOING IT. I compared myself to other brands, other entrepreneurs, friends, family, and small business owners. I freelanced and put off moving forward with confidence. I took what I felt I could get, instead of seeking what I wanted. I questioned everything I did, and desperately looked around me for outside validation and support. I tried to pull out my old tools…tried to paddle a new boat with old oars (yes, I'm going to beat this metaphor to death!!). 

It actually wasn't until rather recently that the entirety of the course of events really hit me. I've been paddling along side my gorgeous new boat for some time now. My way forward is through me. I'm going to ask myself the questions, and supply the answers from now on. belle&beanzer is from ME to YOU. It's exposing and vulnerable and entirely refreshing and exhilarating. The more I do it, the more I love it. 

So, for now, I'm climbed aboard and I'm floating happily in my new boat. Having just realized it, I'm in my honeymoon phase at the moment. I feel suntanned and strong, and the water is perfect! :)