Director of Operations: AKA "MOM"

Dang it! I missed this video for Mother's Day! Actually I missed my Mother's day post altogether. Here I am a little late, but with this little treasure! For two seconds, I was like COME ON, don't make it sound so bad!! But, then... You're going to LOVE this...

So, yeah, I took the WHOLE weekend off for Mother's Day. I've got loads to do, in a pretty major way. But, you know what? It was AWESOME! The fam asked me what I wanted to do more than anything. So, a hike it was, followed by a hamburger for dinner. Two of my faves. :)

What I usually don't do, but aspire to, and finally did this time, was let go of my expectations and goals for the hike. I followed the kid's rhythm.

This meant, LOTS of stopping to draw and document beautiful things...

This meant, abandoning our shoes, and the trail, frequently...

This meant, time stood still at the waterfalls as we explored the river and our bravery...

This meant, experimenting with lots of objects to see just what would flow down stream...

This meant, loosing ourselves in the moment with sunshine on our faces and the river in our ears...

This meant, I let go of what time it was, and my fat burning heart rate, and the view from the top. This mean, the view from right here was where it was at, and it was pretty awesome. My best gift, aside from the mountain of drawings, cards and hugs I received, was my own personal lesson is how beautiful everything is. Right here and now. Just look around. 

XOXO

Sometimes I need to get hit over the head

Yesterday on the way home from the beach, Ava put her head on my shoulder, and asked if she could just relax the next day with me.

Ok, sure...

Last night, when andrew and I were out for our date, she told her grandparents she was going to spend the next day relaxing with mommy.

Aww, ok, so sweet...

This morning, she came in our bedroom, curled up in bed with me and asked if we were going to spend the day relaxing together.

Yes, sweet girl...

She then spent the morning climbing all over me, insisted I help her with everything, whined, and carried on.

"Ugh," I thought, "the beach honeymoon is over."

I knew what to do!
GET. OUT. OF. THE. HOUSE.

When, I announced we were all going to head into town, Ava's face fell, she cried and started a fight with her brother.

A teeth gritting, shoulder hunching "nooooooo" wailed throughout the house.

I'll admit I was very confused.
And frustrated.
And annoyed.

So, I stopped. Everything. I scooped that girl up and held her. And listened and finally heard what I had not been able to hear for 24 hours.

She wanted down time. With me. Just mommy and Ava.

So we got ready for a girls day on the town. We put on special outfits, did our hair, a little mascara and lip gloss.

Undivided girl time.
She had been telling me all along.

Sometimes I need to get hit over the head!

in the moment with mad

We've been having a wee bit of emotion at home lately. Namely, 5 year old emotion. It's really tempting to cajole, ignore, reprimand, react…a whole range of responses. None of which really validate the feelings, do they? 

So the other night, when angry feelings cropped up, we literally took a look at it. We got mad, mad, mad! The maddest, angriest, mostest growly feelings we had!

Here we are, in the moment with mad. 

I'm MAD!!

REALLY mad!!

maaaybe, this is a little funny?

nope. M-A-D!!

ARGGRROWWLLL!!!

RAAROARRAGGRRRR!!!

yea, okay, this is sorta funny

this is also silly

more silly

SUPER silly!

All the moments add up

Happy Friday! It's a super, BIG, fun weekend ahead! My little dream team and I are attending the Playtime show and the ENK show. We're walking the floor to check out space, layout and to get inspired. Then, we're out for drinks to discuss and brainstorm! I'm so excited to have a day with these two wonderful women. They have been rock solid in their belief in me, and what the brand stands for. They are crazy talented, and I have a feeling I'm going to want to move into my booth space by the time we're done designing it! Check out Monday's post for a full update. 

As I close the week, and look towards the upcoming weekend. I've been taking note of all those little moments that have added up to what was really a wonderful week. Because when you look back, do you really remember be stuck in traffic, out of eggs, or mail you forgot to send? Probably not, and if you are, start a new mental record! Perception is everything!

Jonah: (Holding up an Olivia pig and handing me Llama) mama, will you pway wif me?

Me: sure!

Jonah: (pig to llama) hi, I'm owibdia. You my friend?

Me: hi, I'm llama! Yes, I'm you're friend.

Jonah: I wuv you (pig kisses & hugs llama) come wif me, wets pway!

Me: (melting)

~~~~~~

Ava: But, I want to take care of Daddy too! Me and Jonah both want to!!

(after being told she was spending the night at her grandparents when Andrew got out of surgery)

~~~~~~

Walking into the market, a little cutie barely walking come careening down the aisle at me, laughing. A few minutes later, still laughing, I saw him nuzzling his mom as well. His mom now laughing too. Buckling my seat belt I faintly heard the now familiar laughter, and looked out my window to see this happy little guy in his stroller laughing, babbling and pointing. I was now laughing too, again. THAT was joy. I'm honored to have witnessed it. And proof positive you can literally share your joy!

~~~~~~

As we discussed new biz seed money

Andrew: Personally I see this as a much better investment of our money.

~~~~~~

Ava rolling in the grass, frolicking around as she giggles and displays the "beeauteeeful" white flowers (weeds) growing in our yard like Vanna White. All the while she's chirping, happily:

it's spring, it's spring! It's so much fun bc it's spring!!

~~~~~~

Andrew making me laugh so hard coffee dribbled out of my mouth and almost out of my nose.

~~~~~~

Geese proudly, if a bit arrogantly, but certainly with conviction of sense of self, crossing the road while 5 VIPs in cars (myself included) are forced to wait, take a moment and watch. We all  look at each other as we pass, waving, laughing and smiling.

~~~~~~

Jonah: Is that mine?? Is that my big one? Actually, I want a big one.

little head can be seen over the edge of the counter, as he excitedly bobs up and down on his toes trying to see into the bowls of yogurt Andrew can't fill fast enough

~~~~~~

Beautiful, surprise, 70 degree, sunny walk with Andrew, holding hands and everything.

lots of love

We like to call our favorite events "seasons" in my family. We all enjoy a good birthday season lasting approximately a full month. No kidding! I know Valentine's Day is over commercialized. But, conceptually, I love a day devoted to love. Because I don't think we should be limited to one day, ~ although it serves as a good reminder when we realize, once again, how good it feels to give and get waves of love ~ I'm calling it…this week it's the season of love. 

What do you love??

this man.

Where would I be without this man? My partner in making dreams come true.

these babies.

They teach me more about the person I am, and want to be, than anyone or anything.

this spoon.

Purchased 15 years ago!! Little friend has lost prongs, and is covered in heat scars. I've searched for replacements and come up empty. Just might be the last spoon of it's kind. On earth. I'll probably be unable to part with it at this point, anyhow. We've come through too much together. On diets, off diets, dinners alone, dinner dates, family dinners. I. Love. You. Pasta Spoon!

this necklace.

Bought by myself, for myself, after Ava was born. I read an article @ the designer,
HollyMariejewelry, and fell in love. When Jonah was born, I sent it back to her to add him.
This is my favorite piece of jewelry I own. People always stop me and ask where I got it, &
when Ava has tough day, she asks me to wear it, so she is close to my heart. Can't beat that. 

this coffee.

Their Kona Blend might be the best coffee I've ever had.

this picture.

This pic is on  my personal vision board on  pinterest. I just don't get tired of looking at it. 

this place.

 Sunset @ Madaket beach, Nantucket, ma. we fell in love here. we were engaged here. our family grew here.
It has one of the best sunsets you will find anywhere. All you have to do is walk on over and enjoy.
photo: wonderground

this nail polish.

my glitter girl got it from somewhere :) this is from butter london. color is all hail the queen.

this bear

I've always had a thing for bears.  I love this big guy. artist sarah maycock.  

this quote

very inspired by this quote right now as a mother and an entrepreneur.
author unknown

embracing the moment

This is a quickie post, and the first of many big reveals for 2012. My family is
patiently waiting (some more than others) for me, so we can head out for our
New Year's adventure. Here is a little collection of moments from Christmas day,
when Ava, Jonah and I embraced the moment and got silly together. 

Embrace your moments.

It's a gift. An opportunity. It's for you. For your child/ren. For your family. 

21 Days: My gift to myself

21 days...Isn't that what it takes to change habits? I think I read that somewhere...In just under a month, it will be my birthday and I'll be one step closer to 40, than 30 (ok, maybe 2 or 3 steps closer. crap.). Across the past 5 years, I've been feeling...tired. When I fully absorbed the fact I was talking about five whole years of my life, I was shocked. Then, to make myself feel better, I rationalized that I have two small children, one of whom is turning 5 this month. It's been a busy 5 years, after all! I thought about my (previously) stressful job. That, before that, it took my son a good year to sleep consistently. All good reasons. Yup. Good reasons until I realized that I'd been feeling this way longer than 5 years. Isn't that like cold water on your head? I can recall my regular weekend afternoon naps when Andrew and I were first dating...over 10 years ago.

I truly believe comparison is a root of evil. But, when I looked around, I could see that something was off with me. First thoughts: maybe I'm sick? Depressed? Bad habit?? nope. nope. ...maybe?

This summer, I was inspired by my old friend Marla Carter of Marla and Shane Photographers and the popular blog, Left on Amelia. She wrote about TheWhole30 and eating Paleo...as in Paleolithic. Think eating foods like nuts, seeds, berries, fruits, veggies, lean proteins and healthy fats.

2-3 years ago, my husband bought a book called The Paleo Diet. So there I was reading Marla's blog, and I could see the good health in her pictures and hear it in the tone of her writing. Then I read about her mid-day bike rides b/c she was no longer tired in the afternoon. What the what?!

Andrew and I talked, and we did it. It wasn't always easy. But, that's the truth. It's not always easy. I LOVE a good muffin with my coffee, a little wine and dark chocolate, and I'm a comfort food girl at heart. But, the pay off was tremendous. Within a week, my troubled skin cleared up, I was no longer taking a siesta, my moods had evened out, I had loads of energy, and was thinking more clearly. I have no idea if those kinds of results were common, but they were mine.

Paleo Carrot Soup with ginger, cardamom, and coconut milk. Crazy good!

off-the-tree apple slices to saute in coconut oil, cinnamon and almonds

Then, enter our summer vacation to Nantucket. Hello ice cream cones, cocktails and Portuguese breads. Hello naps, moodiness and troubled skin. We got home, and we definitely had a great time, but we felt like garbage.

We've gone back on Paleo, (ahem) loosely. Some weeks more loosely than others.

Paleo-ish homemade oreo cookies

What beer? This is clearly a picture of me making a Paleo-ish Apple Pie!

All forms of denial and kidding aside, my bday is around the corner...and I'm thinking to myself, what do I want? A spa day, carte blanche at Anthropologie, jewelry, a vacation?? Ummm, yeah, ok yes I'd like all of the above. (Andrew, are you reading this?? Anthropologie, are YOU??)  But, really when I get down to it...What do I want?

I want to feel like a million bucks when I wake up on November 4th.

I want to open my eyes and smile bc I feel awake, rested, and aware. I want to look out at the autumn morning golden sunshine, and be totally psyched to start my day.

I want to give myself the gift of my good.

So, my reconnection with true Paleo is part of this gift of good health. But, really, there is more to the story than that. Good health is more than just food, it's about a balance of all things in my life. My first step and shift towards choosing my gift of good health, really started last year. For me, the logical next step was reconnecting with my husband, children and family. Career-wise, it has all been all about rediscovering with MY aesthetic, voice, and point-of-view.

I'm a working, designer mom with an amazing husband and two small children. I'm blessed with amazing friends and family...AND I'm starting my own business. YAY!!!! Budding and dreaming entrepreneurs, it's A LOT to balance. There are pockets of feeling overwhelmed and times of push and craziness, and it wont always work out like a feel-good tv show. But, it's also so totally awesome. There is always something else to do, and for the most part, I can't wait to do it! (no, I'm not talking about you dumb forms!!)  Just like my physical health, for my business to thrive, there needs to be good health within it.

I've made the decision to cut back a bit on my freelance hours, to free up more for belle&beanzer.  My freelance work is definitely a good thing, it's fun, I looove NYC, but it  isn't where my excitement lies. I'm lucky to have it, to interact with SO many creative, talented and interesting people. It's actually put me in touch with some key people I've needed to play a role in my business. But, ultimately, it's really about the bigger picture. The big picture being belle&beanzer, and that I want to go live January 2012. 

Speaking of which, the latest and greatest is... my final prototypes will arrive at the end of the month. As will my final costing estimates, etc. I'll need to plug those numbers in and see where I land with everything. PS - run your numbers, folks. Seriously, hard core numbers. In a future blog, I'm going to be interviewing an truly amazing woman who wrote a book for people just like me. We've opened an email correspondence, and she's agreed to be a guest blogger here. More on that later...

As for the one-piece, I'm REALLY excited to do a reveal as soon as I get the protos back. I've been pulling together the pics and video from along the way. I've got some goood stuff in there. We'll get a glass of wine and have a good laugh together! 

In the meantime, I can't wait to post my mood board, logo, etc. It's all getting there, with the branding. I find it SO serendipitous in my venture adventure, that order to have a clear brand and point-of-view, I've had to really understand MY point-of-view, aesthetically. It's a simple concept. It's amazing how long it too me to get it!! I was too busy doubting and second guessing myself and comparing my ideas to others. GAH! Done with it! 

The less exciting news, but reality, is the surprising amount of paperwork and the appalling lack of information about how to fill out said paperwork. 

Oh yeah, heads up!...pretty soon, hopefully within the month, I'll be migrating my blog to my website. Therein lies the next piece, technology...migrating my blog, getting the website looking the way I envision it, setting up my email, linking up all my social technology. LEARNING. CURVE. 

So, there you have it. 21 days to better overall health. Finding a better balance in all aspects of my life and how they interweave. I'll keep you updated!

My Baby Boy

Two years ago my little boy was born. There are a lot of things I'm excited to blog about. But, I really had to dedicate this one to him.

My sweet boy is a lover for sure. The teachers like to rotate "turns" to cuddle him. When I was pregnant, if I poked him, he'd poke back. If I woke up in the middle of the night, he'd wake up and kick around too. When he was a newborn, he was happiest the closest, most mashed up against me he could get. He's a connecting sort of guy. He can be bit shy, but only until he sorts out a person, place or thing. Then, he's a happy, talking little ham. He prefers cookies over any other treat. He's an adventurous eater, and will try almost anything by huge handfuls. He loves cars, trucks, balls and cuddles.

We're celebrating his birthday in Nantucket this year. It's our end of the summer, beach getaway. As I think about my boy, and we celebrate him, I decided to share some of the highlights of his birthday....

Jonah is still not sure what he thinks of water. The first day of our vacation, he pressed his cheek to mine and hung on tightly as we waded through the ocean. I closed my eyes, and loved feeling that sweet, plump, wet cheek. By our last day, today, he's gained his courage. All on his own! It didn't take me wading in with him, our encouragement, or our pointing out other people. He quietly made the decision, and went in. After, he looked proudly at me, "I did it!!" He ran up to me for a drive-by kiss, circled back around to the water, and went running in. At which point, he tripped and went face down into the ocean. To his credit, he didn't let it stop him...for long.

When I put him down for his nap and he told me, "mommy, I want cud-dole you." I leaned over, and snuzzled him. He snuzzled back, it was a nice quiet a moment....aaaaand then he made "fake" sleeping noises. "ggghhhhaaa-shoooooooo...."

He woke up sweaty and happy and we took all little shower to wash the beach off from the day before we went out to dinner. After he got naked he ran across the room, flashed his butt and taunted, "wook! I'm nah-kad!! Toot-shie!!" laughed, and ran away.

At dinner, he was mad bc he didn't want water (yeah, HELLO two years old), and tossed it across the table. Why do I love this? PS - I didn't love it so much in the moment. In the moment, I was wet and annoyed. When I thought back on it, I realized this is not a man afraid to speak his mind! He is fully aware his feelings count.

We had a chocolate ice cream treat after dinner. He ALWAYS asks me if I want a bite. Always. He soon tires of the middle man, chucks the spoon, and dips his face into the bowl. It's really seconds I've got to arm myself with napkins before little chocatoo fingers (as he calls chocolate) grab a hold of me. No, I didn't get them in time, as usual. Yes, I came home home from dinner with dinner all over me, my hair, in my purse...

At bedtime, he was really tired, he told me he wanted bed...that he wanted all his "cars bed too." So, we stacked them up in just the right arrangement. Then, he held them up one-by-one for me to kiss them. Then we snuzzled and he told me "mommy go sweepy." (That's his way of telling me he's ready for me to leave the room). Another kiss. Good night my sweet boy.

Two amazing years.

More Snuggles and Less Struggles

After my second, Jonah, was born, it wasn't just interesting or clever that all things baby/children be easier...It was VITAL to the happiness of my family. You accumulate a lot of "stuff" with one child. With two, it can feel a bit like YOU'RE the needle in the haystack of baby items...trying to find yourself.

One tired Mama

The question that kept popping into my head while I rummaged around trying to find something, during a quick (yeah, right) 2am diaper change, as I tried to efficiently (again, yeah, right) to change his diaper and/or clothes for the 10th time in a day, while my husband helped out and I crossed my fingers Jonah would end up in something resembling an outfit (again, again, yeah right)...
WHY? Why is all this stuff such a pain in the A**??

Don't they KNOW how little time I have? Don't they KNOW my 3yr old daughter is pulling at my pant legs and completely impatient for my attention while I dress my baby boy? Don't they KNOW I don't have time to iron little bits and pieces down on a shirt every time I wash it? Don't they know the little snaps suck, they're impossible to line up when you're sleep deprived (and otherwise), and make my husband crazy? Don't they KNOW my baby is squirming and twisting while I dress and change him? Don't they KNOW my baby doesn't like to almost fully undress in the middle of a sleep bc his diaper is soaked?

My career, before I left it in the traditional sense, is as a graphic designer for newborn, infant and toddler clothes. I create all those patterns that go on the clothes, the graphics, appliques and embroideries. It's basically children's illustration with a talent for making a full print out of it. So, as a mom working in the industry I was a "they." I KNEW as a mom what I needed, and I KNEW as a member of the industry that it wasn't being done.

There are plenty of gadgets and gizmos with a bent towards making life easy as a parent. Some of them work. Most of them depend on your personality, and more importantly your child's. But, what I didn't see, haven't seen, is anyone addressing what we do with your little ones several times a day. We dress them, we redress them, and we change their diaper again, and again, and again. Baby clothes are pretty much the same, with variances on aesthetic. But, what about the clothes themselves??

As a mom, I needed something that no one was giving me. I needed simplicity. I needed ease. I needed more snuggles and less struggles. So, one sleepless, squirmy, unhappy-baby-night my mind started chewing on it. Okay, let's start with removing the problem...what if there were NO snaps, NO zippers and it takes 30 seconds or less to dress and/or change your baby in any position your baby wanted? What would that  look like? Whoa. I would LOVE that! I bet other parents would too!

So, I started drawing. I started looking at all the staples I used for dressing my children. I considered what was frustrating, what I always complained about, what my mom friends complained about, what I saw emails, postings, etc. complaining about. Most importantly, I talked to Moms and Dads. It occurred to me that moms will put up with a lot for cuteness. Dads don't care. Changed? Good. Moving on.
I believed I could marry those two view points.
Keep it looking super sweet. Keep it super simple. Yeah, that's smart!

So far, there are 10 garments designed and ready to go. I'm starting with my first garment, the sleep and play. Why one? Because I value simplicity. I'm keeping it simple as I kick things off.

I affectionately named the sleep and play,  Little Hammies. They very well may be named Little Hammies. Named this because they are very flattering to your baby's cutie-pie little chunkle butt. I promise I will post pictures and videos. I want to get you all involved in the process. I'd LOVE, love, love your feedback and thoughts. This is FOR YOU.

Also, your baby and/or child is going to love it. It's waaay super comfortable. All my prototypes have been in my son's age, much to my daughter's dismay. I got one sample that was way too large. She found it and put it on herself, with no explanation. I couldn't get it off her. My son loves it because dressing him is no longer me pinning him flat on his back, alternately singing songs like a lunatic and begging him to stay still (babies don't like radical emotional swings like that, do they? LOL). He could sit up. He could stand up. He could sit on my lap. He could keep reading his book. He could be on his belly.

My first core value in this venture adventure is...Simplicity. In ALL things. Can you imagine if dressing and changing were easier? There would be less tears (for parents and kids). If there are less tears there is less stress. Less stress is more time to tickle, giggle, talk, find toes, and point out a sunbeam on the wall. More happy moments, added up to create more chunks of stress free time with your little one.

Simplicity  = more snuggles and less struggles.

What are your favorite things you have purchased that make your life easier as a parent, or person?
How would you feel if you had more time to just enjoy your children?
What did you think would be a great product, and in the end it wasn't?
What does simplicity mean for you as a parent and as a family?

the "belle" & the "beanzer"

Why belle&beanzer you ask?...

The process of selecting a name was almost painful for me. I mean, it's a NAME. All roads lead back. Names conjure up all sorts images and emotions. When we name our children, how many of us have gone through that selection/rejection process where we just loooo-o-ove this one, and that one is a no-go because  you knew someone with that name in 5th grade who made fun of your quirky hair. 25 years later, and you can't warm up to that name!

belle&beanzer was the first name I came up with when I was developing the line of newborn, infant and toddler clothes. It's the name I came back to because of it's personal significance.
I thought, If I'm going to do this, it's got to have my fingerprints all over it. 

I come from a proud, long lineage of nick-namers. My mom, pop, auntieM and uncle, my grampy and grammy... ALL clever conjurers of nomenclature. The gene runs strong in me as well. My daughter can often be heard telling me authoritatively, "NO. I'm JUST Ava. A-V-A." Someday she'll look back and smile...

My own nick-names are alive and kicking in my family. I'm 36 and I'm rarely, maybe never, called by my given name...and I love that. It's playful, creative, clever and warms my heart that there isn't just one name the people in my life can call me that fully captures me, and the love they have for me. I feel that, and am so tickled when they go to speak my name all sorts of fun, silly, loving quirkiness comes out instead. Right back atcha Fab Fam! (that's the nick name we have for ourselves. Is the love and affection making you sick? that's what we call turning the lights down low and putting on candles at dinner time. grooan)

So, here is the quick list (mom, feel free to add any I've forgotten):
mousey • mousateria • wanda june jellyspoon • maggie (no, my middle name isn't maggie and maggie isn't short for anything else) • maggers duke • duke nucleus (nucleus is the center and I'm the center of my pops heart) • noodles • Mercury (bc mercury is the closest planet to the sun and therefore the brightest) • rudy, • rudus • rudus abudus • dog daughter (no clue, but it's not mean) • baby coo • marsha (no reason) • reba • rebar • aaaannnnd lulu belle
And, there you have the "belle" of belle&beanzer.

Me at 1 year. YES, I snuck up on the table to get more turkey. 

Beanzer is my brother's baby name. It is a derivative of Beany J Boy...which was bc like a bean that sprouts and grows so quickly, so did my brother. Think Jack and the Bean Stalk. Other family faves are: Zachariah T Woodstock, Jackson, Jacko, Zacko, Zachers, Jack and the most awesome big brother ever. Okay, that one, I just put in right now...

It was important to include my brother's nick name, because it was his encouragement and nudging that was the catalyst. An email, a call, a long talk, a meeting, more emails... He got me started, and  encouraged me from a stance of total confidence, and certainty that I could and would do it. As if I was already a baby clothes designer.

The Law of Attraction states  "...BE (ing) the person you want to be, and then you DO what that person would do, to HAVE what they would have."  (Thank you Lisa for that link!!) My Brother did that for me. He spoke to me as though I already was, and I saw I was, and now I am. I don't have clever words for that....just, THANK YOU.

belle&beanzer. then end.

What are your thoughts on the name I selected?

What images does it conjure up for you?

Did you have any fun, creative, weird, lovable nick-names from and for your family?

Please share, I'd love to hear from you!